My days pass pretty uneventfully. I get up do my job, write, make art, play domestic goddess, looking after Manthing and the critters.

Then there are there days when things happen that really make me wonder how people even draw breath on their own.

(phone rings)

“Hi, this is Kris.”

“Ms. Spencer?”

“This is she.”

“Ms. Spencer, this is Lisa Dingwhartz in So & So County public schools human resources office”.

“Okay.”

“Ms. Spencer, I am looking over an e-mail you sent to Elsie Blah Blah about fingerprinting.”

“Okay.”

“Well it seems your paperwork is incomplete.”

“I filled out everything the teachers I am working with gave me to fill out and they forwarded it to you.”

“How did they forward it?”

“I imagine by whatever school mail system you have in place for your schools.”

“Well, your I-9 is incomplete.”

“Okay.”

“Did you fill out tax papers?”

“Yes. I filled out a W-2 and some form specific to Sos & So County Public Schools and whatever else was in the folder to be filled out and signed.”

“When can you come in and get fingerprinted?”

“Where is the Human Resources office?”

“We are located on Bumfug Egypt Rd. in So & So County.”

“Well as I said in the e-mail, I am somewhat disabled and not allowed to drive. So & So County is not accessible to people with disabilities who use public transportation to get around. So what do you suggest?”

“Well how do you get to the high school to perform your duties? The school is not accessible by public transportation either, you know.”

“Yes. I am well aware of that. I had to set up the transportation. A grant pays to hire a transportation company to transport me. But the grant will probably not pay for me to go out to BFE Rd to be fingerprinted because it is not directly related to teaching the art class.”

“I understand you are disabled but our building is accessible and being disabled does not excuse you from following procedure. We have a policy in place that requires you to be fingerprinted and have a complete I-9.”

“Okay. Your building is accessible. Getting to your office is NOT. I am not using my disability to circumvent any policy and find it insulting that you assume that is what I am doing. Do you have any suggestions? I do not live in So & So County. I live clear across town in ANOTHER county that allows public paratransit transportation in their county. I have also already been teaching at the school for 4 weeks and have yet to be paid for it.”

“I didn't assume anything; you probably haven’t been paid because your paperwork is incomplete.”

“So, what you are telling me Ms. Dingwhartz, is that because paperwork isn’t complete and you have no fingerprints, I am not going to be paid?”

“No, that is not what I am saying. We have to pay you because you performed work for the school. But we have a policy in place that you need to be fingerprinted and your I-9 needs to be completed. If you do not submit to the fingerprints, you'll have a history of not being checked out and you won't be able to work for So & So County Public Schools.”

“Okay. So what I am hearing here is that until the fingerprints are taken and the I-9 is completed properly, I shouldn’t expect a check.”

“Ms. Spencer, that is not what I am saying. Did you hear those words come out of my mouth? I said your I-9 is not complete and you need to be fingerprinted.”

“Let's ignore the obvious. What is this I-9 you keep mentioning?”

“It’s the form you fill out that proves you are a citizen of the United States but it is incomplete.”

“I filled that form out. How is it incomplete?”

“Well, let me see if I have it BEFORE me and I’ll tell you (sound of shuffling papers). I don’t seem to have it here but our office that processes the I-9 says it isn’t complete, so it isn’t.”

“I believe your office is mistaken. That form is a no-brainer and I know I filled it out with all the necessary information because I hate that form. It’s invasive and I don’t care much for it. So I remember every time I am forced to fill that form out. Is the supporting documentation missing or what?”

“All I have here is a note that says it is incomplete. When can you come in to complete it and file your fingerprints?”

“As I said before, I am somewhat disabled and not allowed to drive. So & So County is not accessible to people with disabilities who must use public transportation to get around. Any unscheduled trip there must be planned. So what do you suggest? Do I need pay for a cab to take me there when there are probably other options that can be explored?”

“I think I am going to turn this situation over to the teacher you are working with so you can quit yelling at me and she can fix this. We are getting nowhere.”

“Ms. Dingwhartz, I am not yelling at you. I am speaking sharply, letting you know I am unhappy with the way in which this has been handled. I see no reason why I need to pretend I am happy with a clearly poor situation when I am not.”

“Apparently you are unwilling to work with me to resolve this situation so I will contact the teacher…”

“I am not at all unwilling to work to resolve this situation. I have made attempts to work to resolve this situation several times. You keep talking to me about incompleted forms and the school systems policy. I filled out the paperwork presented to me and did what I was asked to do.”

“Like I said, I will contact the teacher and she can deal with this in the way she finds appropriate.”

“Okay. You follow whatever protocol you need to follow.”

“I can assure you I will. You will still need to be fingerprinted and the forms will need to be completed and I will let the teacher know...”

(CLICK)

What a freakin' nitwit.

To be continued. I’m sure.